War Games 2019

War Games 2019

The HOTv logo gives way to a live show inside Tropicana Field as we see a live drone shot above the huge set up right over where second base used to be. The drone circles the two ring, one cell, set up as we get a view of the set up for tonight’s first PPV for High Octane Wrestling here in the Refueled Era.

The crowd is buzzing as we cut to the Hall of Fame announce crew of Joe Hoffman and Big Buff Benny Newell as they are standing by exactly where only a short time ago the Tampa Bay Rays TV announcers just sat and called the baseball game.

Joe Hoffman: Welcome everyone to War Games…..but before we get to the action I would like to say on behalf of everyone here in High Octane Wrestling we want to send along our deepest condolences to the families of those that lost their lives today in that senseless shooting in El Paso Texas where at least 15 people passed away. If we are going to acknowledge the baseball game that just took place, Lee felt it was only right to pass that message along as well.

Benny Newell: It was an act of a total coward plain and simple.

Joe Hoffman: I agree wholeheartedly Benny and with that in mind we would like to take a moment of silence for all those affected today.

The crowd inside Tropicana Field stands as one and a minute of total silence encompasses the stadium as HOW and its fans sends their prayers to those in Texas.

After a minute we cut back to Joe and Benny as we are set for our show to begin.

Joe Hoffman: We have seen some crazy stuff over the years Benny and are sure to see more even tonight but we just want to make it clear that what happens here in the land of High Octane pales in comparison to the happenings in El Paso today. Ok……..moving on….

Benny Newell: Two matches Joe. Only two matches on the show tonight and I am not sure how many shows can say that they have had more hype and buzz around a two match show….but HOW has done it with War Games.

Joe Hoffman: No doubt about it Benny. Tonight we only have two matches but a ton on the line. Not to mention that earlier today Lee Best sent out a Best Bets audio file to the masses and announced the return of the LSD Championship, which if you recall was created in 2002 and was short for Lee’s Superstar Division…..that name was phased out obviously and it’s been known as the hardcore brother of the ICON Championship since.

Benny Newell: LSD is a good thing Joe….a VERY good thing.

Joe Hoffman: Well the time for talking is over……let’s cut to Bryan McVay who is standing inside Ring #1 and is ready to kickoff War Games and the Tag Team Title match!!


Brian McVay: The following contest…..is for the HOW Tag Team Championships. The winning team will be the one that secure the tag titles that are hanging above each ring inside the cell!!!

The crowd roars at the mere mention of a ladder match as the camera slowly pans up from Brian McVay to show each belt hanging high above one of the two war games rings. The ominous cage surrounding each championship belt, almost acting as a vault surrounding each belt.

The arena turns pitch black. The sound of a shell cracking accompanies a golden beam; hitting what seems like a random section of the crowd. A second beam of the same color, also introduced with a corresponding crack hits another.

Then another.


And another.


As more yellow beams continue to strike the crowd, they start dancing around in sporadic patterns.

“Yoke the Joker” by Naughty by Nature hits the speakers.

Joe Hoffman: This folks isn’t going to be a war. It’s not even going to be a match. Expect this one to be a train wreck. 12 men. 6 teams. 2 belts. 1 winning combination.

Benny Newell begins punching away on a calculator.

Benny Newell: How’d you do that math so fast?

Joe Hoffman: Because I’m not trying to type 8008135 on it.

The Egg Bandits emerge onto the top of the ramp. The Maestro of COOL, Cool Jiles stops at the top, gazing out at the gathered Octabandits before him. His golden locks are slicked back, his precious shades are nowhere to be seen, and as it turns out, his eyes are brown. The Dooze, doing his best brisk-walk out from behind his Bandit brother, takes a few steps past him before stopping dead in his tracks to take in the metallic scenery.

Both men have come dressed for war. Fatigues, black boots, and brand spanking new camouflage Egg Bandit t-shirts. On sale now!

Jiles even has a World War 2 helmet on, probably in an attempt to protect his hair.

Not wasting anymore time, The Maestro of COOL starts to head down the ramp. He taps Doozer on his left shoulder, and then breaks off behind him to the right. Quickly, Doozer spins around to see no one, but he certainly can hear his brother of the yolk laughing in the distance.

Joe Hoffman: These guys seem pretty loose.

Benny Newell: We’ll see how long that lasts for.

The Egg Bandits make their way into the ring and look up at the championship belts. The two look at each other as if taking in the moment, realizing what they are about to get themselves into.

Joe Hoffman: You have to believe that right now, the edge has to go to the Egg Bandits. Cool Jiles is a former Tag Team Champion and The Egg Bandits have had success with each other in tag team action outside of HOW.

Benny Newell: You think this match will be over, easy?

Joe Hoffman: I’m not say—-I’m not going to dignify that.

Benny Newell: What? Not looking on the sunny side of things?

“Perfect Insanity” by Disturbed hits and the crowd roar as Brian Hollywood and Jace Savage make their way to the entrance ramp. Both men taunt the crowd and point at the hanging championships before motioning around their waist.

Joe Hoffman: Don’t forget the well regarded run Brian Hollywood had as a member of Sex and Money with the titles. The unknown factor of Jace Savage could play into this match.

Benny Newell: Oh look, it’s Sexless and Money.

Hollywood and Savage slowly enter the ring staring directly at the Bandits, who are smirking back. Hollywood points at the Bandits, then the belts, then himself. The Egg Bandits pretend they are scared before flipping off Hollywood who moves in before Joel Hortega holds Hollywood back.

Benny Newell: Don’t let them start cracking shells.

Joe Hoffman: Don’t start! You have to wonder what happened to Jace Savage’s hand as it looks taped up?

Benny Newell: Probably chafed it from masturbating to pictures of himself.

“You’re The Best” by Joe Esposito plays as Benny spits out his drink.

Benny Newell: Mike? PLEASE?!?!

The crowd boos and then looks stunned as Mike Best does not walk out. Rather, Robert Dean and Crash Rodriguez walk out.

Joe Hoffman: No, it’s Robert Dean and Crash Rodriguez. And judging from the look of it Robert Dean has been uh…..

Benny Newell: Bulking up.

Joe Hoffman: Actually, he looks like he’s dropped a few. What do you think is the strategy for slimming down for a ladder match?

Benny Newell: Nothing. He’s a fat fuck who loves to eat. He probably ate nothing but Twinkies and dipped them in a vat of lard. He probably restricted himself to 20 instead of his normal 30.

Rodriguez helps Dean into the ring as the Egg Bandits are practically doubling over laughing at the site of Dean. Hortega helps Dean disrobe as members of the audience audibly gasp.

Benny Newell: Is that a fucking baker’s dozen? I’ve never seen so many rolls.

Joe Hoffman: Just… just move on.

“World’s Greatest” by R. Kelly hits as the crowd boos loudly as Johnny O’Dell and Scott Stevens make their way to the ring. Both men come out carrying a bench.

Benny Newell: What the fuck am I supposed to do? I love O’Dell because he beat the shit out of Kostoff but I hate Stevens because he’s FUCKING SCOTT STEVENS!

Joe Hoffman: The Benchwarmers are here and look primed to go. Scott Stevens is a former World Champion and Johnny O’Dell just beat HOW Hall of Famer Kostoff a few weeks ago. That’s gotta be some psychological advantage.

Benny Newell: My hopes rest on O’Dell delivering another fucking beating to that shit head Kostoff! Maybe he can drive Kostoff’s fucking suitcase head into the bench.

Before Benny can continue his rant, the lights go out.

Benny Newell: Why do the lights go out on every fucking entrance?

“Bow Down” by I Prevail hits as the crowd erupts into cheers.

Darin Zion and Noah Hanson make their way out to the entrance ramp. Noah glares at Zion with a quizzical look. He starts pointing to the arena and then his ears.

Joe Hoffman: Rumors have been swirling that Zion and Hanson were arguing in the back about which entrance music to come out to. You gotta believe that Hanson is not happy Zion’s music is playing right now.

Benny Newell: It’s fucking entrance music. Who gives a shit? Besides, both their music is shitty. They could come out to fucking Barbie Girl for all I care.

Zion holds his hands out as if to reassure Hanson. He nods and points to the ring. Both men circle the ring before standing on opposite sides of the ring. They immediately dig under the ring as the other teams bail to the outside. All five teams begin brawling as Hortega looks confused momentarily. He tries to restore some order but shrugs his shoulders and calls for the bell.

Joe Hoffman: Kostoff and Witness haven’t even arrived yet and Hortega has started the match!

Benny Newell: Fucking cowards! I knew they wouldn’t show!

The War Games cage begins to lower with the belts hanging high.

Joe Hoffman: My God, Benny! If they don’t get inside the cage, they’ll be locked out!


The Egg Bandits are the first to notice the cage and abandon the fight. They slide into the ring waiting for the cage. Hortega is cursing in Spanish trying to warn the teams to enter the ring. The Benchwarmers notice next and throw their bench into the ring. The Egg Bandits move out of the way. The Benchwarmers slide in and begin trading punches with the Bandits.

The cage is now halfway down.

With two teams away, Savage and Hollywood slide in too. Hanson and Zion belt it into the ring and join in on the all out carnage in the ring.

Benny Newell: Must go faster! Must go faster! Gogogogogogogogo!

Crash Rodriguez dives in as Bobby Dean struggles.

The cage is lowering and is getting close to the ground. Bobby Dean tries to enter the ring and Hortega is motioning for him to hurry.

With just enough room, Bobby Dean rolls under the lowering cage and Hortega breaths a sigh of relief.


Joe Hoffman: Too close!

Crowd: L-O-D! L-O-D! L-O-D!

 The lights go out and before a single note is played the crowd erupts into thunderous cheers, shaking the entire arena.


“Wolf Totem” by The Hu hits as the lights quickly illuminate showing Kostoff and Silent Witness in the ring.

The other five teams turn and begin charging the two members of the Legion of Darkness. Throwing hands at their opponents, Witness and Kostoff begin taking down team members one by one. The crowd is roaring in approval as the Legion seems to be hitting anything that moves. One by one, members begin to roll away. Witness and Kostoff quickly spin and almost hit each other before smirking and then nodding. Witness rolls out of the ring and goes under the ring, he grabs a ladder and hoists it in between the ropes. Kostoff grabs the ladder and sets it up against the turnbuckle. Kostoff looks for the nearest living body and finds Noah Hanson. Kostoff picks Hanson up onto his shoulder. Kostoff backs up against the opposite turnbuckle and runs but Noah Hanson wiggles free and shoves Kostoff sternum first into the ladder. Noah quickly goes in, grabs Kostoff by the back of the head, and begins bashing it in to the ladder.

Witness goes to slide into the ring but is stopped. Witness is pulled back and spins around to see Darin Zion. Zion kicks Witness in the gut and suplexes him outside of the ring. Bobby Dean is up and Hanson starts barking orders at him. Dean nods as Hanson and Dean go to the opposite turnbuckle. Dean whips Hanson who stops, reverses and whips Dean as hard as he can. Dean crashes into Kostoff’s back as the crowd vicariously feels Kostoff’s pain. Dean backs up Kostoff falls to the mat and the ladder lands right on top of him. Deans bounces off the ropes and hits a splash onto the ladder on top of Kostoff.

Joe Hoffman: I am in awe right now. We’ve barely begun and have had a match start without one team, the cage almost lower on top of a couple of wrestlers, and….

Benny Newell: And Bobby Dean moving like a fucking cruiserweight!

Zion slides into the ring and begins double teaming Bobby Dean with Noah Hanson. Crash Rodriguez slides in behind the two and clubs Zion in the back of the head. Zion stumbles out of the ring as Crash now trades blows with Noah Hanson. Bobby Dean finally rolls out of the ring and inadvertently land right on top of Darin Zion. Zion gasps as all the breath is being driven out of him.

Joe Hoffman: Zion’s back could be broken from that splash from Bobby Dean!


The Egg Bandits crack two chairs across the faces of Crash Rodriguez and Noah Hanson.

Benny Newell: They just scrambled their brains!

The Egg Bandits continue wailing on Hanson and Rodriguez until they aren’t moving. Jiles grabs the ladder that was used to hurt Kostoff and sets it up in the ring. He begins climbing as Doozer jumps out of the ring and goes to grab another ladder.

Jiles is halfway up when he takes a club to the back from Brian Hollywood. Jiles tries to bat Hollywood away with his foot but Hollywood grabs Jiles’ leg, twists and hits the mat with a modified Dragon Screw. Jiles grabs his knee in pain. Hollywood grabs Jiles’ leg again, twists, and then hits a leg drop right across the knee.

Joe Hoffman: Great prowess from Hollywood to take out the knee of Jiles. That’ll hinder his ability to climb the ladder.

Hollywood then flips Jiles over and cinches in a boston crab. Jiles is slapping his WW2 helmet to take his mind off the pain in his leg.

Joe Hoffman: This won’t win the match but it will do wonders to increase the odds of Hollywood and Savage walking out the champs!

Doozer gets the ladder and slides it under the bottom rope into the second ring. He looks at Jiles who motions with his hand to just grab the belt. Ignoring him, Doozer lawn darts the ladder into the side of Hollywood’s head. Hollywood immediately releases the hold and slumps to the side. Jiles begins army crawling away from Hollywood.

Benny Newell: Shades of Christopher America at Normandy!

Doozer then grabs the in ring 1 and re-positions it under the belt. The crowd roars loudly as the camera pans back, showing Scott Stevens and Johnny O’Dell in prime position. Doozer hears the crowd, turns as O’Dell lifts Doozer into a flapjack while Stevens jumps and hits a driving DDT into the mat.

Joe Hoffman: Holy God! What a DDT!

O’Dell immediately goes to Kostoff and picks up right where he left off at Refueled. Stevens boots Jiles out of the ring and then Stevens joins in as if both men were trying to beat respect out of Kostoff. Off screen, a clattering can be heard but O’Dell and Stevens ignore it, consumed by their desire to be respected. Witness slides into the ring and goes to try to stop them but O’Dell and Stevens turn their focus on to him and begin beating him down. The crowd boo as both men taunt the crowd, admiring the fact that they are the lone team standing in the ring. Stevens points at O’Dell and then the championship belt. O’Dell begins to climb as Stevens grabs the other ladder and tosses it into ring two. Stevens moves to ring two and looks back at O’Dell’s progress before his eyes go wide.

Scott Stevens: LOOK OUT!

O’Dell turns and then is flipped and driven into the mat by a hurricanrana by Jace Savage.

Savage wastes no time and immediately follows up by bouncing off the ropes and hitting a snap leg drop right across the neck of O’Dell. Savage immediately gets up and hits another as Stevens is now back in ring one. He goes to charge Savage with a clothesline but Savage ducks. Stevens spins around, eats a boot to the gut, and then is dropped with a DDT.

Savage looks up at the title belt and begins climbing.

The crowd grows louder as Jace Savage is the only one climbing.




Jace reaches for the belt.


Suddenly, The Egg Bandits, Bobby Dean and Crash Rodriguez, Brian Hollywood, and Silent Witness slide into the ring. The six begin to try to fight their way to the ladder. Bobby Dean’s size is helping to keep a hobbling Cool Jiles at bay. Witness and Rodriguez are trading blows while Hollywood and Doozer go at it. Hollywood gets the better of Doozer and seeing the other members detained, slides out of the ring and grabs another ladder from underneath the ring.


Jace Savage reaches up and touches the tip of the belt, which jostles it and sends it swinging. Hollywood slides the ladder into the ring under the bottom rope. Jiles slaps Dean flush across the face and then begins chopping away at Dean. Dean staggers before Jiles leaps and hits a drop kick sending Dean flying backwards. Jiles grabs his knee as he falls hard. Dean backs into the ladder and Hollywood looks up as the ladder begins tilting. Savage flies off the ladder and lands balls first on the top rope as the ladder bounces and rests precariously on the top rope.

The audience gasps as Savage’s eyes go wide. He slumps to his side and falls right back out of the ring.

As Hollywood watches in horror, he turns his attention back to the ring just in time to see a ladder fly right at his face. O’Dell and Stevens smirk at each other after hitting a baseball slide into the ladder. Witness gets the upperhand on Rodriguez backing him into the turnbuckle.


Witness jumps on top of Rodriguez and hits a monkey flip sending Rodriguez flying, the small of his back catching a corner of the of the ladder leg.

Rodriguez spasms in pain.


Witness notices that Johnny O’Dell has begun climbing in ring one and Stevens in ring two.

Looking at both men, Witness rushes to ring two and grabs Stevens by the back of his tights, yanking him off the ladder.


Witness hits a quick, stiff clothesline on Stevens. He pulls Stevens up and sees the bench that Stevens and O’Dell brought in. He grabs Stevens head and runs him right into the bench, knocking the bench over and sending Stevens bowling over it.


In ring one, O’Dell is reaching for the title but isn’t quite there yet.

Joe Hoffman: Witness has got to stop O’Dell!

Witness then grabs Stevens, lifts him into the air and drops him gut first against the edge of the bench.

Crowd: SI-LENT-WIT-NESS! Clap-clap-clapclapclap SI-LENT-WIT-NESS! Clap-clap-clapclapclap SI-LENT-WIT-NESS! Clap-clap-clapclapclap


O’Dell wraps his fingers around the leather strap.


Benny Newell falls out of his seat, the noise so incredibly loud.

Benny Newell: OH GOD! THEY FOUND ME!

Joe Hoffman: WHAT THE—-

Johnny O’Dell’s back arches and he falls like a dead tree in the forest. As he hits the mat, he looks up and sees the towering frame of Kostoff holding a chair. Kostoff looks incensed as he lifts the chair high above his head and drives it right into the gut of O’Dell.

Joe Hoffman: Those chair shots! WHAT FORCE!


As if bombs were exploding, Kostoff’s rage is fueling every chair shot.

Witness shows a half-smile and then positions the ladder in ring two underneath the title. Kostoff points at Witness and both members of the LOD begin climbing their respective ladders in the ring.





Suddenly, Dean and Rodriguez, The Egg Bandits, and Zion and Hanson rush the ring. The six men topple the ladders. Kostoff and Witness both land on their feet and the others are shocked momentarily. Kostoff and Witness yell for the men to bring it on The six men swarm the LOD members and begin beating down on them. Kostoff shrugs them off and starts cracking his skull against theirs. Witness trades blows.

Joe Hoffman: The LSD Legend and the Colossus of HOW are fighting against the world right now!

Bodies go flying as both LOD members are full of fire. After they clear the ring, the crowd roars their approval but quickly calm down as the Egg bandits enter ring one. Jiles shakes his leg as Doozer cracks his neck. The Bandits are holding a ladder and charge at Kostoff. They nail Kostoff right in the gut. Kostoff doubles over as the Bandits raise the ladder over their heads, driving it down onto the back of Kostoff’s head. Hearing Witness get into ring one, the Bandits swing the ladder around, nailing Witness in the side. The Bandits spin around and nail Witness on the other side. They then charge and nail Witness right in the face. Witness spills in between the ropes of the two rings. Jiles and Doozer say something inaudibly. The two dump their ladder on top of Witness and then grab the ladder in ring one and also pile it on top of Witness. Doozer then goes to ring two, picks up the ladder and dumps it on Witness.

Benny Newell: I talked to the Bandits earlier and they call this the golden shovel.

Joe Hoffman: The golden shovel?

Benny Newell: Cause that fucker just got buried!

Doozer and Jiles slide out of the ring and go over to Dean. They grab him, pick him up and drive him back first into the ring apron. Jiles and Doozer then grab Crash Rodriguez and whip him into the steel post. The Bandits move over to Hollywood and whip him into the side of the cage. Jiles grabs Savage and begins raking his face against the cage before whipping him into the cage.

Joe Hoffman: The Bandits are on a tear!

Benny Newell: Speaking of tears, I bet Dean just tore his asshole when he got rammed into the apron!

The Bandits round the corner but are blindsided by Hanson and Zion.

Hanson and Zion crack the heads of the Bandits against each other. Hanson and Zion hit stereo suplexes on the Bandits driving their backs into the cage. Their bodies, then slump to the floor with their necks hitting the floor. Zion and Hanson slide into the ring and look at Kostoff who is still down. Hanson grabs one of the ladders on top of Witness and yells at Zion to help. Zion comes into ring two and the two pull one ladder out. Hanson tugs on the ladder towards ring one. Zion tugs on it towards ring two. The two men jerk their heads and look at each other. Hanson tugs the ladder towards him and Zion tugs it back towards himself. Hanson and Zion argue before Zion rolls his eyes and relents. Hanson pulls the ladder into ring one and sets it up under the title belt. He begins climbing and Zion grabs a second ladder off of Witness. He lifts and pulls it in between the middle and top rope.


Zion notices the ladder appears to have a broken rung and moves it off to the side, sitting on the ropes of ring one and two. Zion grabs the third ladder and pulls it out. He then goes back to the second ladder, hoping to throw it out but……


Zion falls down, grabbing at his face.

Holding his shoulder, Crash Rodriguez just hit a Coup De Grace to the ladder, driving it down and smacking Zion right in the face.



Hollywood and Savage slide in and begin going after Hanson. Hanson boots Hollywood in the head but with Savage there, the numbers game is too much. Hollywood and Savage yank Hanson down. Hanson staggers momentarily but it’s just long enough for Hollywood to hit a superkick and Savage to hit a Superman punch. Hanson falls to the mat and Hollywood begins climbing. Savage goes to ring two and begins setting up the ladder.


Savage gets the ladder up and now Bobby Dean is in the ring as are a recovered Benchwarmers. The Benchwarmers go over to Crash Rodriguez and pull him up. Stevens barks at Rodriguez and Dean. All four nod.


Crash Rodriguez and Dean begin beating down on Savage’s back until he falls off the ladder. Dean finally sits on top of Savage, holding out his taped hand. Rodriguez begins grinding the heel of his boot into the center of Savage’s hand. Savage screams in pain as the Benchwarmers are beating down on Hollywood. Stevens motions to O’Dell. O’Dell sets up the bench behind Stevens. Stevens picks Hollywood up, whips him into the ropes and, with O’Dell’s help, hits a death drop, breaking the bench in half.


Benny Newell: I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m coming around on Stevens. That dipshit is making me happy. Beating down the LOD, beating down Hollywood and Savage. I’m starting to like this guy.


Stevens and O’Dell look over and see Bobby Dean holding the ladder for Rodriguez.


The two start moving into ring one but Bobby Dean meets them with a clothesline. The Benchwarmers quickly get up but eat another double clothesline. The two get up again but this time, Dean reaches out and grabs the nipples of the Benchwarmers.


Bobby Dean pulls and twists hard. O’Dell and Stevens try to pull away but the more they pull, the more it hurts them. Stevens and O’Dell beat down on Bobby’s arms. Bobby releases the Purple Nurple. O’Dell and Stevens hit basement dropkicks to Bobby’s knees and Bobby drops to them. The Benchwarmers turn around, push over the ladder and Rodriguez goes flying but leaps onto the cage at the last minute. The Egg Bandits are under Rodriguez who dives off the cage and splashes both men.

Joe Hoffman: Rodriguez off the cage! The Bandits are down again. And the Benchwarmers are somehow, seemingly acting like the most cohesive team here!

The Benchwarmers turn around to face Bobby Dean but immediately drop to their knees.

Benny Newell: BAHAHAAHAHAHA! Nothin’ beats a good old fashioned nut shot!

Bobby Dean struggles to his feet. He goes over to Stevens and begins dropping knees into his groin. Bobby does the same to O’Dell and both men roll out of the ring. Bobby Dean picks the ladder back up and positions it back under the belt. Bobby climbs.


But the ladder wobbles.

Bobby gets back down. He grabs another ladder from underneath the ring and pushes it in. He sets it up next to the other ladder and climbs.


Joe Hoffman: Bobby Dean bringing a back up ladder to help ensure stability as he climbs!



Benny Newell: Like fucking King Kong climbing the god damn Empire State Building!

Bobby stops mid way and wipes his brow. He pulls a couple of pieces of celery from his tights and begins eating.

Joe Hoffman: WHAT IS HE DOING?!?!

Benny Newell: He’s…. he’s fucking eating? What the actual fuck?!?!



Bobby moves his sausage like fingers around the leather……

Bobby pulls the strap…..

Suddenly, all 11 other men rush the ring and begin rushing in. Zion and Hollywood ascend the ladder, followed by the Bandits, followed by Savage, Hollywood, and Rodriguez. They begin trying to climb the opposite side of the ladders, scrambling.




Quickly from behind Bobby Dean, Kostoff ducks under his mightly legs and wraps his arms around his massive thighs.

Joe Hoffman: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

Benny Newell: Someone get my richter scale!

Joe Hoffman: NO REMORSE!

Kostoff powerbombs Bobby Dean off the ladder, walking a few steps and over the top rope to the floor. Bobby lands with a sickening thud.

Bobby isn’t moving and the rest of the crowd continues scrambling towards the belt.

Kostoff turns his attention towards the pile of men scrambling. Kostoff climbs the ring and meets the men on rung 3. He begins trading elbows and forearms with the others and The Bandits fall off the ladder. They quickly get up and move around to the other side.

Rodriguez, Hollywood, Savage, Zion, Witness, and Hanson are all still on the ladder

The Bandits begin punching Kostoff in the kidneys. Kostoff is then slammed to the mat where the Bandits begin stomping away. Kostoff is then pulled up and given double chops to the chest. Kostoff slaps his own chest and shouts at the Bandits. The Bandits keep chopping but Kostoff seems impervious to the pain. He reaches out and clasps his hands around their necks before hoisting them into the air and giving them a double chokeslam.

After kicking off Silent Witness, Hanson and Zion focus on Savage and Hollywood.


Witness is helped up to his feet by Kostoff who motions towards the other ring. Witness moves to ring two and throws the bench over the side of the ring. He slides to the other side and grabs a ladder from under the ring. He pushes it in and sets it up in ring 2.




Witness scurries up the ladder as quickly as possible. In ring one, Kostoff grabs Hollywood and Savage and throws them out of the ring. When he turns around, Hanson dives off the ladder and onto Kostoff.



Zion wraps his hand around the belt…

Witness wraps his hand around the belt…

and pulls it down.



The bell sounds as Zion looks confused and over to ring 2.


Benny Newell: What the hell? Zion and Witness are now the tag champs?

There is some confusion as Witness and Zion just stare at each other. Hortega goes to converse with McVay as Hanson climbs the ring and begins arguing with Zion.

Noah Hanson: How could you do this? We are a team!

Darin Zion: I didn’t know he was climbing!

Witness climbs down off the ladder.

He joins Zion who are yelling at Joel Hortega. Hortega continues talking to McVay as suddenly Hanson rips the title from Zion and clocks Silent Witness in the head with it. Silent Witness goes down and we see a trickle of blood form across his forehead.

Zion looks at Hanson in disbelief.

Darin Zion: That’s not how I do things!

Noah Hanson: You do whatever it takes!

The camera cuts to Hortega who adamantly points at the cage.

Brian McVay: Ladies and gentlemen, referee Joel Hortega has confirmed that this match…… IS NOT OVER!

The crowd roars as Zion begins protesting.


Brian McVay: The winners of this match must be members of the same team. Therefore…..

Joel Hortega immediately grabs the belts and he begins to reposition ladders and begins climbing in ring two.


Zion and Hanson are continuing to scream at each other as Hortega finishes latching the first belt onto the ring once more.

The other ten men get to their feet. Bobby Dean is holding neck. Kostoff cracks his and spits out a small mouth of blood. O’Dell and Stevens hold their heads. Witness is bleeding from the head, the blood dribbling down his face. Crash Rodriguez is holding his gut. The Egg Bandits are holding their heads too. Cool Jiles rips off his helmet and throws it to the side. Hollywood and Savage help each other up and are leaning on each other. The 10 look at the arguing Hanson and Zion. Hanson looks behind Zion and sees them. He holds up his hand but Zion continues arguing. Finally, Hanson spins Zion around.


Hanson goes down and looks up in disbelief. Zion looks down, mortified.

Joe Hoffman: Oh my God.

Benny Newell: I didn’t know Zion had it in him! HAHAHAHA! Great job, fucker!

We cut to a replay that shows, as if almost on instinct, Zion rolling with the spin from Hanson and hitting a back elbow.

The ten watch on before they all pounce on Zion and Hanson.

Joe Hoffman: Like hyenas picking up the scraps.

Benny Newell (singing): BE PREPARRRRRRRED!

Joe Hoffman: What are you doing?


The ten continue to beat down until Kostoff picks up Zion into a military press and throws him against the cage wall. Zion lands with a thud on the outside as the other 9 do the same to Hanson.

Hortega finally latches the second belt onto the ring and begins the climb down.

While the 10 stare on, the Egg Bandits slip out of the ring and hide next to the ring, out of eye sight.

Joe Hoffman: What are they doing?

Benny Newell: These guys have picking on the Bandits all match! They probably don’t want to get poached!

Stevens and O’Dell turn around and face Kostoff and Witness.

Benny Newell: Sure, Stevens can’t keep time worth a fuck but he knows taking out the LOD is the best thing you can do! Besides, I’m surprised Witness would smear fake blood to try to get sympathy.

Joe Hoffman: It’s not fake blood!

O’Dell holds up his hands and motions to the other four men in the ring who hold their hands up. Kostoff looks around with a scowl before Witness taps him on the shoulder. Both members of the LOD look around.

Joe Hoffman: They realize the Bandits are missing!

The remaining eight surround the ring and approach the Bandits from opposite sides. Doozer and Jiles chuckle to themselves before quickly looking in horror at the eight surrounding them. The Bandits crawl under the ring as the eight look under the ring. On the opposite side, Jiles and Doozer appear. They quickly dive into the ring and begin climbing the ladder.


Dean and Rodriguez see the commotion in the ring. They yell to the others.


The others look up.


The 8 slide into the ring. Kostoff and Witness are first in either ring.


They topple the ladders over sending the Bandits down to the mats. Dean and Rodriguez quickly turn on Kostoff and Witness. O’Dell and Stevens join in. Stevens rakes at Witness’ face, trying to rip open the cut further. O’Dell kicks Kostoff in the gut, picks him up and…..

Joe Hoffman: N—-NO REMORSE?! O’Dell just hit Kostoff with his own move!

Stevens reaches into his tights and pulls out the end of a spur. He rakes it across Witness’ face as Witness writhes in pain.

Scott Stevens: Had enough?

Silent Witness: Suck a fucking dick!

Witness spits blood in Stevens’ face. Enraged, Stevens begins driving the spur over and over into Witness’ forehead. Blood is flowing out and Witness slumps in Stevens’ arms.

Stevens goes into ring one as O’Dell tries to pick Kostoff back up. Stevens helps pick him up as Dean and Rodriguez look on. O’Dell hoists Kostoff up but quickly slumps to the mat.

Joe Hoffman: CHOP BLOCK!

O’Dell crumples under the weight of Kostoff. Stevens turns and……gets kissed by Bobby Dean. Stevens wriggles, mortified but Dean holds tight before picking Stevens up.

Joe Hoffman: HAPPY ENDING!

Stevens falls to the mat. Rodriguez and Dean now face Hollywood and Savage. Savage’s hand is bleeding.

The crowd roars as the two teams start trading punches back and forth. Rodriguez gains the upper hand on Savage, whipping him into the ropes, hitting a back body drop. Hollywood gains the momentary upperhand on Dean before Dean plants a kiss on Hollywood.

Joe Hoffman: HAPPY ENDING!

After driving Hollywood’s head into the ring and seeing Crash taking care of business, Dean gets the ladder and begins climbing.


Benny Newell: I’ve never seen so many happy endings since I joined Robert Kraft and Donald Trump at Camp David last weekend!


Crash hoists Savage onto the top rope. He hooks Savage by the head. Savage tries fighting him off but Crash hits clubbing blows to the back. He then wraps his arms around Savage’s head and…..

Joe Hoffman: CRASH REPORT!

Savage rolls out of the ring as the Avalanche DDT takes it’s toll.


Dean motions for Rodriguez to climb the other ladder. Rodriguez goes over but the Bandits are up and moving in on Dean. Rodriguez gets off his ladder and rushes to ring one. Dean jumps off the ladder and motions for the Bandits to bring it on. Rodriguez gets behind the Bandits. Dean charges and the Bandits move out of the way as Dean clotheslines Rodriguez. Rodriguez goes down hard as the Bandits look at Dean.

Joe Hoffman: An inadvertent clotheseline and down goes Rodriguez!

Dean nods at the Bandits and Rodriguez looks on in shock.





Dean is now stomping away at Rodriguez. Dean looks at Doozer and points to the titles. Doozer slaps Jiles on the chest and the Bandits split up.

Joe Hoffman: I—- I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!

Benny Newell: I can! The only team that started out cohesive is the team that is surviving!



Silent Witness gasps as he sees Jiles climbing in his ring.

Benny Newell: BULLSHIT! How is he still moving?!?!?!

Joe Hoffman: Witness still has fight in him.


Witness crawls towards the ladder.


He wraps his fingers around the rungs and pulls himself up.


Doozer wraps his fingers around the leather.






Witness grabs his hand around the ankle of Jiles.

Jiles yells at Bobby Dean. Dean goes over to Witness and sits down on the small of his back.

Witness cries out in pain and lets go of Jiles’ ankle.

Doozer grabs the strap as the crowd boos louder as Jiles climbs.












Joe Hoffman: I don’t believe it!

Benny Newell: THEY DID IT! Break out the egg nog and DRINK!


Hortega hands The Bandits their titles and goes to raise their hands but Bobby Dean shoves him out of the way.

Bobby Dean raises their hands as the crowd rains down boos upon them………

The cameras continue to focus on the champs in the middle of the ring but they quickly cut to the rampway where we see Kostoff and Silent Witness standing together looking back at the champs.

Joe Hoffman: Great showing for the LOD here tonight and you have to be proud of these two HOW Hall of Famers and legends.

On cue the audience turns their attention to Kostoff and Witness and begin chanting:




The two men are taking it all in as they continue up the rampway and stop for a final time at the top of the stage and look out to the fans. As they turn they see a figure walk out from the back clapping their hands as well.

Joe Hoffman: This is awesome…..fellow HOW monster and current agent Rhys Townsend…..has come out to show his respect for Chris Kostoff and his longtime mate Silent Witness.

Benny Newell: Come on……there is no way…….

Benny is stopped as we see Rhys reach out his hand and Kostoff takes it and the two men shake. Rhys leans in and whispers a few respectful words and lets go of the Hall of Famers hand and waves to the crowd and turns to head to the back.


Joe Hoffman: NOOOOOOO!!!

Silent Witness smacks Kostoff in the back of the head with a powerful right hand and the sound of his knuckles breaking on the Hall of Famers head resonates throughout Tropicana Field.

Witness shakes off his right hand in an attempt to deafen the pain as he continues to kick Kostoff in the back of the head.  Townsend turns and looks shocked at what Witness just did and rushes up to the man and gets in his face…..

……and then  motions for Witness to get Kostoff up.

Joe Hoffman: What the hell….Townsend is only a agent!!!

Witness slowly gets Kostoff up to his feet and we see the big man is bleeding from his head bouncing off the stage. Townsend then signals Witness to help and the two men then lift Kostoff up and for the second time tonight Kostoff takes his own finisher as Townsend drives Kostoff down to the stage with a powerful No Remorse powerbomb.

Townsend and Witness share a quick nod and walk off towards the back as everyone, including the tag champs in the middle of the ring, are in shock.

Benny Newell: Like I said……..there was no way that Townsend was coming out to help celebrate a loss. Hashtag fucking predictable!!

Joe Hoffman: I don’t know about all that…..we have not seen Townsend in years and quite frankly he has been failing at his job as an agent….and now this? Was this all because Kostoff cost Witness the shot at the Tag Titles??

There is no answer to Joe’s comment as we fade out

After the commercial break we cut live to backstage. Blaire Moise is there. She is dressed to the nines. Joining her, the newly crowned High Octane Tag Team Champions of the World, The motherfucking eGG Bandits.

They are bruised.

They are battered.

They are vindicated.

Blaire Moise: Hello, my guests at this time are the–

Jubilant, Jiles jumps at the mic and stops any sort of civil interview. His eyes are stretched to eight centimeters dilated. His smile is ever wider. The shiny gold belt in his grasp is now the only thing to rival his incredible hair.

Jiles: THE TAG TEAM MOTHERFUCKING CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD! That’s who we are. And boy did we pull one over on everybody! Tell em Dooze!

The Dooze looks like he is ready to go another round. His shiny gold belt is already fastened around his waist.

Doozer: They said it couldn’t be done. They said there was no chance. Now they have to say World Tag Team Champions! And you aren’t kidding, Jiles, we pulled one over on all of them.

Jiles: Blaire, do you know what runs thicker than water? Thicker than blood even?

Blaire ponders, more like her waiting for Jiles to answer his own question.

Jiles: Yolk. And… there he is! Bobby get your beautiful ass over here!

Ecstatic, Bobby Dean officially joins the party. Boisterous high fives, fist pounds, and chest bumping ensue.

Bobby Dean: I can’t believe it! When you told me the plan, I thought no way! No HOW! Never. And here we are, TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD! I’m so proud of you two! We did it! We really did it!

More hugging.

More laughing.

Luckily, no crying.

Not yet.

Doozer: We couldn’t have done it without you. You were so convincing– I still can’t believe you ate all of those eggs!

More celebrating.

Jiles: Hook. Line. And sinker. We play the fiddle, and everyone danced to our tune, Blaire. It’s why we are the best. It’s why we are deserving. It’s why–

Interrupting the celebratory party, the newly crowned, Oh-Cee-DoubleU Tag Team Champions, Duce Jones, and his father, Krayzie.

Duce Jones: It’s why you are considered the second best tag team on HOTv. Maybe. After what we just saw–

Jiles: And who the fuck is this? Interrupting the eGG Bandits? Who wishes to meet The Cracken?

The OCW Tag Champs don’t bother to respond. The simply hold their also newly gaudy golden belts in the air, showing the world who it is that runs HOTv.

As you might expect, this blasphemy doesn’t go over well the eGG Bandits. Dooze unfastens his newly acquired Championship, and shoves it higher. Jiles does the same. Bobby Dean is getting ready to pounce….

…and security steps in……and then more security steps in……literally a fucking mass of humanity of security steps in robbing all of us of some fistacuffs between the newly crownd OCW and HOW Tag Team Champions

The final shot is of all four titles being held high in the air before we cut to another advert.

Somewhere within the depths of Tropicana Field, a little distance away from the home clubhouse is a rather plush office. One would assume that it’s the sort of thing that the Head of Scouting might use, or maybe even the President of Baseball Operations…you’d assume he has a nicer office somewhere else within the stadium complex, but we are talking about the Tampa Bay Rays here. It might well be the office of the President of Baseball Ops’s office. We don’t know, however, as we’re inside the office and the door is closed.

Ensconced within this office, in the #970000 jacket that is his trademark, with the fluorescent lighting shining off his chrome dome is the God of High Octane himself, Lee fucking Best. He’s hunched over the desk, looking through piles of paperwork with a laptop open and a half empty glass of what one would assume is alcohol, with concentration written all over his face. His paperwork reverie is suddenly, violently broken as the door swings open, slamming against the wall with a bang!

The Boss looks up, and stood in the doorframe…well, it’s not a pretty sight. It’s a six foot one, two hundred sixty pound road agent who just decided to get involved in the Tag Team Championship contest. Lee gets up out of the chair, visibly angry as he does so, that pen – yes, you know the one – clutched in his right hand.

Lee Best: What the actual FUCK, Townsend?! You…you’re supposed to be a fucking ROAD AGENT! Do you even fucking understand exactly what that is? It isn’t some asshole who decides to insert himself into my fucking show just because he feels like it!

Townsend’s face is impassive as he merely shrugs, walking into the room, closing the door behind him.

Rhys Townsend: What’s your point, Lee? You expect me to tell you absolutely everything I plan to do? Sit there and be a good little boy as you pour poison into the heart of High Octane Wrestling?

The room fills with a heavy, pregnant pause as the two men stare at each other across the desk. And then the Welshman breaks out into his best approximation of a smile, as words once more tumble forth.

Rhys Townsend: Plus, Lee…let’s be honest. The moment you saw me out there, in that ring, you popped a boner so fucking hard and fast you had to go change your pants…

Lee is still locked into his death stare, his right hand clutching his Bottomline pen so hard, you can hear it start to crack. Townsend, however, still has the lopsided approximation of a smile on his face. Lee closes his eyes for a brief second, exhaling a loud sigh as he opens them back up. He carefully places his Bottomline pen back on the desk in front of him, giving Townsend a look filled with implied threat as he does so.

Lee Best: Fine. If you want to involve yourself in the matches, then it’s real fucking simple, Townsend. Real fucking simple.

Rhys Townsend: Oh? How simple, exactly?

Lee Best: Like I said, real fucking simple. Right here, right now, you resign as a road agent. I’m not paying that stupid fucking serverance fee, so you resign.

Rhys Townsend: And then what…you figure I just walk off into the sunset and you’re done with me?

Lee sighs as he reaches into the desk, pulling out a sheaf of papers that he slaps on the desk, in front of the Hall of Famer.

Lee Best: No, dumbass, you sign this. A fucking wrestler’s contract. So I can fucking book you after the Best Alliance win tonight.

The horrifying thing that passes for Townsend’s smile crosses his face once again as he looks down at the contract, before looking back up at the God of HOW.

Rhys Townsend: I have two conditions, Lee. If you want my signature on that, they aren’t negotiable.

Lee Best: Motherfucker, this isn’t a negotiation! You either sign that, or I will fire your ass and I will find some way…

Townsend interrupts him, slapping his own, folded piece of paper on the desk.

Rhys Townsend: The two names on that piece of paper? Same thing. Wrestling contracts. Considering the two names on that piece of paper…I don’t see why it’ll be an issue.

Lee snatches the paper up off the desk, flopping back into the chair as he briefly opens the paper. A sigh, a clench of the jaw, and then he nods.

Lee Best: Fine. Fine you fuckstick, I’ll get contracts to them as soon as you sign that fucking contract and get out my office.

Still smiling, the Five Time World Champion reaches down for the Bottomline pen, takes a quick look at the contract, before the two men lock eyes once more. Townsend quickly scribbles his signature in the red ink of the infamous pen, pulling himself up to his full height as soon as the task is finished.

Rhys Townsend: Wasn’t so hard, was it? Enjoy the rest of your night…boss.

Townsend turns and leaves the office, managing to close the door without slamming it, for once. A sigh the size of Everest comes out of the God of all things High Octane, before he downs the rest of whatever it was in his glass. He reaches into the drawer of the desk, pulling out a half full bottle of Captain Morgan. The cap comes off, and he takes one long motherfucking chug….

Lee Best: NO way in actual fuck is that going to be my last moment as owner of this company. No fucking way…..

With that we cut to our final advert before the Main Event.

Joe Hoffman: Ok folks it is time….finally…..for War Games. I have been told that the teams have been assigned separate clubhouses beneath the stadium and that The Best Alliance will be entering the match from the third base side of the stadium…the home team if you will. Mike Best’s team will be coming from the visitors dugout on the first base side.

Benny Newell: Cmon…..lets FUCKING GO!!!!

Joe has nothing for that and instead we cut to the two rings where we see that inside Ring #1 HOW senior referee Matt Boettcher will be assigned the action with Joel Hortega reffing the action in Ring #2. There will be no referee on the outside.

Both refs nod at each other that they are ready for the match to begin and Boettcher motions for McVay to begin the introductions to the first two wrestlers for tonight’s main event.

Joe Hoffman: Ok folks the rules are simple. Every five minutes another wrestler will enter the match and at any time an elimination can occur via pinfall or submission only. The winning team will be the team with the last wrestlers standing. If more than one wrestler survives to the finish from one team then the Captain will decide who will be declared the ultimate victor and World Champion.

Benny Newell: Will not happen……we will NEVER see another Shane Reynolds and Bobbinette Carey situation…..NEVER!

Joe Hoffman: Well now its going to happen……cause you said that out loud!

Before Benny can say anything Drink Drank Drunk by HellYeah hits the airwaves and the Hardcore Artist and HOW Hall of Famer Scott Woodson makes his way out from the first base dugout and heads towards the cell.

Scotty steps out and the crowd pops as they see that Scotty is carrying a barbed wire baseball bat over his shoulder and is smiling from ear to ear.

Joe Hoffman: Scotty has been on a losing streak as of late but there is no one more equipped for this match than the Hardcore Artist Scott Wo——

Joe is interrupted as Scotty is sent face first to the turf of Tropicana Field as the crowd sees MJ Flair standing over Scottywood.

Benny Newell: No reason to wait….we all knew she was the first one to come out for The Best Alliance!!! I love it!!!

The crowd seemingly does as well as they cheer either for the action to have finally started or they are rooting for the youngest competitor in the match.

MJF continues the onslaught with some stiff boots to the ribs of the hardcore artist, causing him to lose his grip on his barbed wire bat, and Scotty instinctively holds his ribs in pain as MJ continues to stalk Scotty.

Joe Hoffman: These two have no love lost here in HOW in the short period that MJ Flair has been on the roster. She owns a victory of Scottywood in a triple threat match but Scotty did bring about a crimson mask to MJ as well….and it looks like she is looking to return the favor!

Flair is now straddling the HOW Hall of Famer as she delivers blow after low to the temples of Scottywood.

Finally the 130lb difference between the two wrestlers is enough for Scottywood to finally force Flair off of him. Scotty staggers to his feet and greets a rushing MJ Flair with a perfect spinebuster. The sound of Flairs back hitting the turf of the infield causes the crowd to moan in shock as the 40 thousand plus fans hear the wind escape her lungs.

With Flair struggling to breathe, Scotty pulls her up to her feet by her hair and starts towards the cell door. Scotty pauses however and picks up his barbed wire bat, before dragging Flair to the door and promptly tosses her into the cell where Matt Boettcher taps his wrist to show that the clock has already been started and were officially underway with the first blow from Flair.

Joe Hoffman: No need for McVay here tonight for the main event…we are already off and running.

Benny Newell: No shit Sherlock. Where are we at with the clock??

On cue the monkeys in the truck pivot the feed to the scoreboard inside the stadium that is showing a countdown……and its already under 2 minutes before the next person makes their way out.

Joe Hoffman: Less than a couple minutes from the next person to come out and we understand that it will be a member of Mike’s team.

Benny Newell: Send out that fucking funny man Farthington. I want that asshole to bleed for a few hours.

Joe Hoffman: Simmer down Benny simmer down.

Back in Ring #1 we see Scotty rolling Flair under the bottom rope and into the ring. Flair crawls towards the far ropes, trying to stagger to her feet, but is cut down as Scottywood executes a running knee to the back of her head. Scottywood is smirking as he stands over Flair as we hear the crowd counting down for the next entrant of the match.

Joe Hoffman: Well due to the attack we had more time spent on the outside of the War Games cell than inside of it but that is surely going to change as the clock…..just now….hits zero.

Everyone turns towards the first base dugout once again and its time for our next entrant into the match…

The P.A. system starts to blare “Pavana El Todesco”, a lovely and rhythmic bit of Renaissance Music. The stage comes alive with several dancers wearing ye olden day’s garb, each carrying a long ribbon with the name Max Kael written on them. Behind them about a dozen knights in highly polished armor, each sporting swords, axes and hammers strapped to their side. Held in each knight’s hand is a massive banner on which Max Kael’s grinning face stares out at the world with a pale blue eye.

The Knights line the ramp and lift the banners high as a fire-eater appears on stage as well as a man juggling swords. Finally the Herald of Maximillian Kael, Sub-Marquis Bentley Tennyson Farthington-Primrose, dances out onto the stage swirling a bright red, green and gold half cape adorned with tiny little bells. The music continues to play as he prances around on the stage wearing a dumb grin and waving to the fans who boo the Herald of Maximillian Kael loudly though there are a few who clap, entertained by the spectacle.

Finally, the Herald retrieves a customized Maxopotamian Microphone from his colorful ensemble, the music slowly fading out as the steady sound of annoyed fans filled the arena.

The Herald: Making his way to the ring.. From Arkham, Massachusetts..  Standing at SIX FOOT FOUR.. Weighing in at TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY POUNDS!.. The Powerful and Pragmatic MAAAAAAAAAAXIMILLLLLLLLLLIAN KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEELLLL!!!!!!!

The Organs at the start of “The Funerals / Jen’s Journey” by Trevor Jones spills out into the arena, some fans continuing to boo while others, some of the more bloodthirsty and disturbed fans, begin to cheer.

As the music builds it is then that Maximillian Kael, HOW World Champion appears out from the dugout wearing a full set of black armor, a massive helmet sitting on top of his head covered in bright #97red feathers. The armor appears to follow the Lord of Kaelsalvania’s general look with Max’s grinning face stylistically worked into the chest plate while his blue eye peers through the visor of his helmet.

As he starts to make his way towards the ring, three maidens carrying the length of a long, black cape with his face once again emblazoned in the center of it. The maidens shake and lift the cape making it appear like it is caught in an awesome blast of wind while Max continues to walk toward the caged structure. He is suddenly accosted by the screams of a fan who holds world map up and angrily points at it, the faint cries of “Maxopotamia isn’t a Real Place!” calling through the music and the crowd noise. Max stares at the man for a moment before two knights restrain the man, his map confiscated before he is dragged away screaming. Max shakes his head before continuing toward the ring.

From beneath his cape Max retrieves the High Octane World Championship, lifting it toward the sky as a series of little people dressed as peasants shuffled down the ramp and around Max, carefully pulling his armor off as his wrestling gear is revealed.

As this continues, the Herald continues to scream “HAIL KAEL!” at the top of his lungs while he is joined by King Arthur and Robin Hood and various other Ren Fair folk who wave at the World Champion. Max is finally relieved of all his armor and hands his title off, prepared to enter the cell and the match.

Joe Hoffman: The World Champion is here!!

Benny Newell: And by the time the door shuts behind his ass it will be time for another entrant.

Joe Hoffman: It is hard to argue that as I look at the clock Benny…..and there is only a minute 20 before the next entrant. Hard to argue against that entrance though for the World Champion. Pure style and class.

Benny Newell: Oh shut the fuck up….this dude wants the company to CLOSE….as the WORLD CHAMPION…which means you have NO FUCKING JOB!!

Joe has nothing for that as we cut inside Ring #1 where Scotty has literally just Irish whipped Flair off the ropes and nails her with a clothesline just as the World Champion slowly enters the match.

Max motions for Scottywood to bring MJ to her feet and the Hardcore Artist obliges as he picks her up and quickly whips her hard into the far turnbuckle where she bounces down off the second turnbuckle and to the canvas in a sitting position.

With a smirk, the World Champion rushes Flair and executes a wicked running knee to her head. The crowd gasps as that violent way her head snaps back. We see Flair crumple to the mat but there is no resting as Kael picks her up and flips her upside down and positions her into the tree of woe.

Max looks back at Scotty who has exited the ring to retrieve his barbed wire baseball bat. Not wanting to wait for his teammate, Kael jumps high into the air and drives his elbow into the groin of Flair and as she screams out in pain, we see a twinkle in the Champ’s eyes as he sits and looks out to the crowd as they are now counting down for the next entrant into the match.

Outside the ring,….and knowing the next entrant is a Best Alliance member…..Scotty is standing by the door with his barbed wire baseball bat and is on the ready as the clock and the crowd hit zero…..

Binge and Purge by Clutch hits the PA system and Eric Dane comes running out of the third base dugout and towards the cell as the crowd stands as one.

Scottywood readies his bat waiting for Dane to make it to the door….

Benny Newell: Now we go….now we fucking go…

The door is unlocked and Dane rushes Scottywood who promptly brings the bat down on the back of Dane as he is speared down to the ground by the man.

Dane blasts Scottywood with some vicious elbows while the barbed wire bat is literally embedded in his back. Finally after a couple more elbows the bat falls to the floor and Dane shifts his focus to the action inside the ring where Kael smiles back at Dane before delivering a stiff knife edge chop across the chest of the 135 lb Best Alliance member.

Once again Flair slumps down in the corner but there is no follow up from the World Champion this time as he turns and rushes towards Dane who is now in the ring and is charging hard at Max.

Benny Newell: Like two fucking bulls charging a 97red colored…..

Joe Hoffman: ANOTHER devastating spear from Dane here. Dane straddles the World Champion and avoids the half of Kael’s head that is covered with metal and lights up the man with some more pinpoint elbows!!

Max is almost smirking thru the pain however, and seeing this, Dane pauses and proceeds to tear at the good eye of Kael.

Benny Newell: There are no disqualifications here folks……tear that motherfucking other eye out Dane!!

Dane only stops after Kael drives a knee up hard into the groin of the man out of pure desperation. Kael writhes in his own pain and slowly rolls towards the ropes as we now focus on Flair and Scottywood who are both now standing…..Scotty on the outside and Flair on the far side of the ring.

Their eyes lock and Flair rushes towards the ropes as Scotty climbs up to the apron with his barbed wire bat and swings just as MJ dives at the Hall of Famer….


The momentum from the elbow sends Scottywood flying hard off the apron and to the base of the cell. The sound of flesh hitting cold steel is not a pleasant one. Flair, now standing on the apron but outside the ropes, quickly runs over to the nearest turnbuckle, climbs and jumps off nailing Scotty with a perfect double axe handle.

Benny Newell: All Best Alliance…all the fucking time!!

Flair, obviously looking to dish out her own punishment now, begins driving her shoulder into the gut of Scotty……each blow sending Scottywood back hard into the steel wall of the cell.

Back inside Ring #1 Dane is back to his feet and turns towards the action on the outside and he does just in time to see Max Kael grab Flair from behind and rams her head directly into the steel cage.

Joe Hoffman: Flair cannot catch a break here in this match….every time she is close to gaining some sort of control she loses the advantage.

On cue the advantage is about to change as its time for another member of Mike’s team to make their way down to the match as the crowd begins the countdown.

We see Dane exiting the ring to help Flair out as all four wrestlers are now on the outside near the door as the crowd hits 0…

As the slow beat to Comfortably Numb begins to play, the lights in the arena dim, replaced by a ghostly blue light which hits the first base dugout. The Silhouette of the Hall of Famer, John Sektor, can be seen standing at the top. His face is subdued, devoid of emotion, as his eyes glaze over in the blue lights as he heads towards the ring and the carnage inside the cell.

The lights turn off as the Gold Standard rushes toward the cell.

Joe Hoffman: Here we go…the Gold Standard John Sektor gives the eMpire the decisive advantage now!

Benny Newell: That’s if the fucker didn’t put a needle in his arm leading into the damn match.

Joe Hoffman: Do not make light of addiction Benny it’s a serious issue and….

Benny Newell: Really? Me? You are going to talk to me about addiction. Shut the fuck up and call the action…..

For the 23909032nd time this decade, Joe shakes his head, and does just that as we see Sektor enter the cell and immediately cuts Eric Dane off from getting to Max Kael.

The two stalwarts begin delivering blows to each other…..Dane with right hands…..Sektor with European uppercuts….neither man gaining any advantage…..until….

Joe Hoffman: Max Kael with a chop block to the back of Dane’s knee!!

Dane crumples to his knees and his promptly met with a superkick from The Gold Standard that sends Dane to the floor of the stadium and flat on his back.

Benny Newell: No Bueno for the concussion there……fuck.

Sektor helps Max to his feet and the men turn their attention to MJ Flair who is now outnumbered 3 to 1 with Dane out of commission for the time being.

She is no dummy however and quickly backpedals as she watches Sektor and Kael help Scottywood to his feet as well. Now all three men are slowly stalking Flair as she makes her way to the other side of Ring #1.

Benny Newell: How in the royal fuck is this fair? These assholes are literally stalking a 135lb woman….a woman that is just trying to earn a living…..I mean come the fuck on!!

Joe Hoffman: She knows what she signed up for Benny and although I do not encourage this of violence,….this is War Games and this had to have been expected. I mean Lee did put two women on his team….there is going to be some violence here.

Benny Newell: I will get a fucking hashtag started and put this match under official protest. You already know Lee didn’t expect….THIS.

Back to the action and we see that Flair has now rolled inside of the far ring, Ring #2, and we see the three men have surrounded her with the only opening behind her to the wall of the cell. Scottywood is now standing in the middle of both rings on the shared aprons, Kael and Sektor on the outside of ring #2….slowly making their way up to the apron and the sight of the three HOW Hall of Famers surrounding the young woman is something to behold.

Benny Newell: Where the fuck is the clock out…..is this the anti-Stevens timekeeper? I mean if this asshole was counting minutes we would already have done five century clubs!!!

With that cue we get a shot on the scoreboard and the clock and the crowd are in fact starting to count as we are inside a minute.

With the crowd starting to count down the three Hall of Famers know they must strike and right now….

Kael and Sektor rush into the ring where Flair tries to fight them off but they are too much for her. They literally pummel her into the canvas and turn to see where Scottywood is.

Joe Hoffman: Eric Dane!!!! He has Scottywood in a piledriver position!!!

As the crowd and the clock hit zero we see Dane drive Scottywoods head down hard into the apron of both rings, the whole time maintaining eye contact with Kael and Sektor.

As “Crazy Train” blares out of the PA system, a light fog rises up from the third base dugout.

As the music crescendos, High Flyer steps out from the backstage area with the HERALD of Max Kael in his hands. He tosses him down into the mist, shouting at him.

The Herald sighs, reluctantly standing to his feet.


The Herald tosses a few cue cards onto the ground as High Flyer starts towards the cage.

The Herald heads back into the dugout shaking his head and cursing under his breath.

Joe Hoffman: Well I cannot believe what we just saw….High Flyer in his HOW in ring debut…..assaulting the Herald of the World Champion…..you cannot get more brash than that.

Benny Newell: Fuck Max. Fuck that Herald. Fuck em All…….NOW WE GO!!!

But instead, we don’t go. Instead we see High Flyer stop…pause…and then turn back around and head back into the third base dugout.

Joe Hoffman: What the…??

A few second later High Flyer reappears and this time the Herald of Max Kael is back with him but this time he has a dolly with him and what appears to be a large freezer.

Benny Newell: I got nothing…..I really have no fucking clue what this dude is doing….

Back inside the cell the action literally has stopped as Dane looks back at High Flyer with a perplexed look on his face as does Max and Sektor as they stand over a beaten MJ Flair who is gladly taking a few moments to gather herself.

The Herald to Max struggles mightily to get the freezer up the dugout steps, so much so that High Flyer calls for some of the High Octane crew to rush over and help the man.

Joe Hoffman: God forbid Jack helps him with whatever the hell he has in that freezer….what is going on??

Finally, the dolly, with said freezer, make it to the turf of the field, and easily rolls the rest of the way towards the cell door. From there Jack Harmen…aka High Flyer…..shoos the Herald away and turns his attention to the men inside the cell and takes a deep breath to soak in the moment.

Benny Newell: History is about to be made here…..fucking history.

With a final deep breath, High Flyer opens the cell door and enters War Games and the land of High Octane.

Seeing the man enter the cell snaps everyone back into focus as the action resumes. Max and Sektor charge at Dane as we see Flair slowly roll herself out of Ring #2 and to the floor as Dane meets the two Hall of Famers barely inside Ring #2.

The two Hall of Famers struggle to gain the upper hand on Dane but finally are able to as we see Harmen open up the freezer and pulls out baseball bat and some barbed wire. He intently watches the action in Ring #2 as he begins wrapping the bat with said barbed wire.

Joe Hoffman: He does know that Scottywood brought one of those…pre made….into the match and its literally lying only a few feet from him….right?

Benny Newell: Not the same Joe…..shut up anyway…ruining my immersion.

Inside Ring #2 Sektor is seen holding Dane’s legs up in the air as Kael drops down hard…metal side of his head first….into the groin of Dane.

Joe Hoffman: Another low blow to Dane. That man is going to be hurting after this match.

Benny Newell: Hopefully he don’t choke on his balls until after the match is over….we need him!!

Sektor follows up the low blow with an ankle lock. He positions Dane so that he can keep his eye on High Flyer, who is now dousing his barbed wire baseball bat with gasoline…that he also pulled out of his freezer.

Benny Newell: Don’t worry….I will say it Joe….that is no bueno for whoever the fuck is going to be on the receiving end of that.

High Flyer smiles as he pulls out a lighter and is set to light the bat on fire but he is brought down to the ground as a surely concussed Scottywood just tackled him from the side after running around the fair side of Ring #1 and towards High Flyer while he was distracted.

Scottywood slowly gets back to his feet and turns around and sees his barbed wire baseball bat. He picks it up and smiles as the crowd begins the count down to the next entrant.

The Hardcore Artist motions for High Flyer to get up and the legend obliges as he stands up.

The two men are staring each other down intently while Jack slowly lifts his lighter and his barbed wire bat is engulfed into flames.

As the clock hits zero we see both Scottywood and High Flyer charging each other with their bats.

First out, Matt the Sports Entertainment Manager with his cue-card guy and his writers who update his script as they walk down to the ring.

A lucha wrestler walks out from the first base dugout dressed in all black with a giant ‘H’ on the front of his shirt. He also has a strange greenish haze emitting from his mouth.

Bryan McVay: …hailing from the Island of Misfit Wrestlers and weighing in tonight at one hundred seventy pounds. He is the ‘Luchador with Insanely Poor Oral Hygiene.’ Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you- HALITOSIS!

Halitosis begins to walk but that quickly turns into a jog….and then into a dead stop as he sees High Flyer and Scottywood literally swinging barbed wire bats at each other directly outside the door into the cell. The flames from Harmen’s bat literally catch Scottywood’s on fire as well and the men continue to block each other’s shots with their bats.

Suddenly the advantage turns as we hear the sound of metal connect with the back of Scottywood and we see him fall to the ground and behind him we see MJ Flair standing with a steel chair in her hand…..one that she grabbed out of the freezer brought to the ring by High Flyer.

Seizing the moment High Flyer wastes no time and brings the burning barbed wire back down hard across the upper back of Scottywood. As he pulls the bat back we see the barbs have grabbed a hold of Scottywoods dreadlocks and as Harmen pulls harder we see him hold the bat up to his face to see that part of Scotty’s hair is stuck to his bat and is now burning.

Benny Newell: Oh god…that smells just like North Korean pussy…..oh my god the memories….

Joe Hoffman: How…I mean…never mind…I do not want to know how you know that.

Benny Newell: Trust me….just trust me…..all you need to know.

Joe dry heaves a little as we cut back to the action inside Ring #1 where we see Halitosis still outside the cell waiting to enter. Seeing Harmen focused on the burning hair from Scotty, he makes his move and hits High Flyer from behind with a forearm to the back of his neck. The force of the blow sends the flaming bat from the man’s hands where it lands on the back of Scotty who immediately begins rolling instinctively to put the fire out.

Flair jumps over the body of Scotty and dives at Halitosis and nails him with a elbow to the jaw, sending the former World Champion back first into the cell. She quickly follows up with a standing drop kick, which causes Halitosis to slump down to the ground.

Flair turns and helps High Flyer to his feet just in time to see both Max Kael and Sektor rushing them from different sides of Ring #1. The men meet in the middle as Sektor clothelines High Flyer and Max nails Flair with his own.

The camera quickly cuts back to Ring #2 where we see Dane slowly getting to his feet, obviously limping from the low blows and extended ankle lock from Sektor. As he gets to his feet he sees Kael and Sektor exchanging blows with his teammates and he slowly makes his way towards them as we focus back on the action outside Ring #1.

Kael and Sektor nod at each other and turn to whip their opponents into each other but Harmen and Flair reverse it and instead we see Kael and Sektor run into each other head first….and sadly for Sektor it’s the wrong side of Kael’s head that meets his and he goes down in a heap as metal meeting bone is never good.

Dane makes it to his teammates just in time to triple team Scottywood some more to keep him down. The three then turn their attention to Halitosis but suddenly High Flyer motions for them to stop.

Halitosis staggers to his feet as we see Harmen reach back into freezer as the crowd begins counting down again.

Joe Hoffman: Oh God….what is next to come out of that????

Benny Newell: A shark with a fucking laser……it is Shark Week after all and we know Harmen loves himself some lasers….

But it is neither a shark nor a laser…..as the countdown hits zero we see exactly what it is that High Flyer just grabbed.


The opening clap-stomp beats of “Watch Me” by The Phantoms hit the speakers as the fans in the Tropicana Field stand as one to see Lindsay Troy come rushing out from the third base dugout. Her arms have extra tape on them tonight as she we see that she is sporting barbed write around her forearms.

Joe Hoffman: Oh dear god…..

Benny Newell: She is just trying to make a living Joe….that is all she is trying to do. Fight fire with fire.

Back inside Ring #1 we see Flair and High Flyer holding Halitosis down on the ground as Harmen has passed the mouthwash to Eric Dane.

The ONLY Star can be seen smiling as he sees Lindsay Troy rush into the ring. He motions for her to watch his back as he twists the cap off of mouthwash container.

Joe Hoffman: In all our years doing High Octane shows I can safely say I have NEVER seen mouthwash be used as a weapon…..let alone a weapon in a War Games match.

Benny Newell: Brilliant move here. I have no idea who had the idea but The Best Alliance clearly had a game plan here for Halitosis.

On cue High Flyer grabs Halitosis’ chin and forces the man’s mouth open as Dane proceeds to pour the entire bottle down the man’s throat.

Joe Hoffman: They are literally waterboarding Halitosis with mouthwash….MOUTHWASH!!!

Halitosis begins choking on the mouthwash and begins spitting it up as Dane flicks the last few drops from the bottle at the mans face. Satisfied he turns towards Lindsay and gets her attention. They then turn back towards Dane and Flair and after a few moments of direction, the four Best Alliance members split off.

Benny Newell: That was straight up a huddle and I am hoping they called a flanker left 25 tackle trap.

Joe Hoffman: I….don’t….think….so.

Instead High Flyer and Lindsay Troy team up to go after Scottywood who is using the cell to get back up to his feet, while Dane and Flair turn their attention Max Kael who is using the ring apron from Ring #1 to get to his feet. Halitosis and Sektor remain down and out but obviously not hurt enough for the Best Alliance to go after them for an elimination.

Joe Hoffman: The Best Alliance clearly has a plan here and that plan is to weaken EVERYONE before going for any eliminations. Smart of them to go after the World Champion as well.

Benny Newell: No shit Sherlock. NOW WE FUCKING GO.

As if they heard the Hall of Fame announcer, Harmen and Troy toss Scottywood into the ring and quickly follow suit. Harmen picks up the burnt and bloody Hardcore Artist and whips him into the far ropes where LT promptly meets him with her double knee strike signature move.

Joe Hoffman: Raynes of Castamere from Troy!!!!

The force of the move sends Scotty backwards into the ropes where they are the only thing saving him from hitting the canvas……and as he bounces off he is met with a charging Yakuza Kick from High Flyer….


We FINALLY see a pinfall cover as we Troy hook the leg while High Flyer puts a foot on the throat of Scottywood as Boettcher begins the count.















Bryan McVay: Scott Woodson has been eliminated by Lindsay Troy and Jack Harmen!!

Boettcher rolls Scottywood out of the ring were HOW medics are waiting to escort him from the cell.

Troy and High Flyer turn their attention now to John Sektor and Halitosis who are both outside the ring but slowly getting to their feet.

We then pivot to the outside of Ring #2 where MJ Flair and Dane have pummeled the World Champion across the length of the two rings and are now ready to roll him into the ring as the crowd counts down for the next entrant.

As two Best Alliance members exit Ring #1….two Best Alliance members enter Ring #2 with the World Champion in clear trouble as the clock hits zero.

Billy Ocean’s delightful voice beckons forth the man known as Cecilworth Farthington, attired with the finest of towels draped across his neck as When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going hits the PA and the ICON Champion makes his way out from the first base dugout.

Joe Hoffman: Well it’s obviously a big five minutes here for the eMpire before Dan Ryan, the last Best Alliance member to enter, makes his way to the match. They MUST capitalize on this time.

Benny Newell: Well we all know this fucking clown will use the next five minutes to make some balloon animals to make everyone chuckle while he tweets about it.

Joe Hoffman: That came across as someone that is bitter with the ICON Champion.

Benny Newell: Fuck off Joe. Get me some salt……..for my tequila obviously.

Joe Hoffman: Obviously.

The ICON Champion enters the cell and immediately heads to Ring #2 to help out his teammate and fellow Champion Max Kael out.

He slides into the ring and immediately comes face to face with Eric Dane and the two men begin laying into each but the fresher Farthington gains the upper hand only for a moment before Dane executes his own low blow finally to an opponent after suffering thru two already.

Joe Hoffman: Eric Dane going low on his opponents here. Totally uncalled for and OH MY GOD!!!

With a quick bounce off the ropes Dane nails Farthington with his Starbreaker finisher knee strike.

On the other half of the ring, Max has just nailed MJ Flair with his WMD headbutt but does not finisher her off and instead turns to help Farthington.

Joe Hoffman: Dane going for the cover….but no….Max with a spinning forearm smash to the back of Dane!!

Benny Newell: I hate that fucking Gaslighter move…..it is such a cowardly move!!!

Cowardly or not….Dane is rocked and seems…..off.

Joe Hoffman: Oh no….concussion???

Max does not care nor does he wait for Dane to get his wits about him as he pulls Dane up to his feet and nails him with the second half of his WMD finisher as he drives the man’s jaw into his shoulder with his inverted shoulder jawbreaker.

Joe Hoffman: Dane is out on his feet…he is out on his feet!!

Max covers Dane as Hortega gets into position to count as we see Farthington cut Flair off from entering back into the ring….




















Bryan McVay: Eric Dane has been eliminated by Max Kael!!!

Joe Hoffman: The concussion comes back to haunt Dane here as two devastating blows to the head spelled his doom. Make sure the boys in the back button down the hatches….there is going to be a F5 tornado about to hit backstage.

Benny Newell: Well fuck…..I hope Lee turns his phone off and has left the arena……Eric is going to want fucking blood!!

However, for now Dane can only be escorted to the back by HOW medics. As is walked by ring #1 we cut to the action in that ring as the crowd begins to count down as we see Lindsay Troy and Jack Harmen going toe to toe with John Sektor and Halitosis. The action has paired off as we see High Flyer and John Sektor going back and forth while Halitosis is trying to figure out how to get to Troy without her barbed wire forearms block every punch or kick he tries to deliver.

Joe Hoffman: Shocking elimination for the Best Alliance as they have lost their in ring general.

Benny Newell: Shocking is a little harsh Joe. Depends who you ask. With his head all sorts of FUCKED UP I don’t think many thought he would come out on top tonight….we just hoped he would be around long enough to help eliminate a few folks.

Joe Hoffman: Well nevertheless……Dane prepared The Best Alliance for this moment and now as Dane exits we all know who is about to make their way out…..Dan Ryan.

Benny Newell: LETS FUCKING GO!!!

The crowd stands as one as our final entrant is ready to make his entrance as the clock hits zero.

Bryan McVay: Hailing from Houston, Texas, and weighing in at 305 pounds!! He… is… DAAAAANNNN… RYYYYYYAAAANNNNN!!!

The lights go out and a dual-spotlight makes an encircling pattern on the third base dugout as the opening riff of the Zero by Smashing Pumpkins plays. When the riff audio kicks it up a notch, Dan Ryan steps out and pauses, looking into the audience, then heads down onto the field and towards the cell.

Joe Hoffman: Well here we go. Great strategy put together here by Eric Dane and Lee Best as not only is Lee’s number one selection MJ Flair still in the match….but Dane’s selection of Dan Ryan as the last entrant is surely going to pay dividends.

Benny Newell: Captain Obvious.

Joe Hoffman: Well that is it folks. Everyone is in the match and now we will go until everyone on one team is eliminated. It is four on four  with seven more eliminations to go.

Benny Newell: NOW. WE. GO

Ryan enters the cell and immediately stops at the freezer that Harmen brought into the match. He reaches in and pulls out a bag.

Joe Hoffman; Thumbtacks?

Dan enters Ring #1 and surveys the situation. Sektor has High Flyer corned in the far turnbuckle and is unloading with right hands while in the other far turnbuckle Lindsey has Halitosis backed into the corner and literally just sliced open his mask with a forearm to the temple. The barbed wire leaving a gash above the man’s left eye.

Benny Newell: Well we know who needs the help here don’t we?

Ryan turns to Ring #2 where once again MJ Flair sees herself being stalked but this time by Farthington and Kael….and he immediately heads that way. Dan storms thru the ropes splitting the rings and promptly dumps the contents of the bag into the middle of the ring. The noise of the contents hitting the canvas cause Max and Farthington to turn around and then they see the contents.

Nails. Rusty from all the fucking salt in the High Octane lake…..nails.

Joe Hoffman: Well darn…..this isn’t good.

Farthington and Kael rush Ryan from across the ring, both men jumping over the nails and ducking under a double clothesline attempt from Ryan and bounce off the ropes nearest the man but neither bounce off.

Joe Hoffman: Lindsay Troy with the assist! She just pulled down the ropes and Farthington’s momentum has taken him into Ring #1 while Kael is stuck in the middle of the two rings with LT.

Kael quickly scatters to his feet and backpedals but not quick enough as Troy nails Kael with a forearm above his eye…..tearing his flesh and revealing metal just above his eye. The shock of the imagery causes Troy to pause and that’s just enough as Max rears back and headbutts The Queen of the Ring hard in the head. The blood from Max transfers to LT’s head as she stumbles backwards.

Smartly, Lindsay exits the rings and tries to gather herself on the outside but that doesn’t last long as we see Halitosis flying high over the ropes with a beautiful senton dive to the outside causing both Troy’s and his own bottle to crash into the steel mash of the cage.

We see Kael dart back towards Ring #2 where Dan and Flair are waiting on the other wise of the nails that are lying in the middle of the ring. This causes the World Champion to pause as he turns back towards Ring #1 where Sektor is down on the canvas….his face a crimson red mask….but not from blood…instead the cameras capture the face of High Flyer and its obvious the man spit red mist at his opponent.

His advantage is short lived however as Farthington is on his feet and charges Jack and clotheslines him over the top rope and down to the floor outside Ring #1.

Sektor, meanwhile, has rolled outside of the ring to get away from the danger and he looking for something…anything to get all the mist out of his eyes.

As he stumbles around we see on the other side of the ring Halitosis has just whipped Troy HARD into the side of the huge freezer. The unit moves a few feet from the force of the blow and as Troy slowly gets up to her feet we see her reach into the still opened freezer and pull out an object and swing wildly….


Halitosis ducks and the chair bends on the ringpost. The force of the chair hitting the ringpost almost causes LT to drop the chair and she stumbles away from Halitosis and right into the staggering Sektor….







Joe Hoffman: Lindsay Troy is going OFF on the Gold Standard!!!

Benny Newell: Receipt paid in full.

Troy throws the chair to the ground, exhausted from the swinging, and turns just in time to see a figure flying off the top of the turnbuckle coming at her…..she is unable to move in time and the man lands on her perfectly with his high angle Sentom Bomb finisher….

Joe Hoffman: Halitosis off the top rope to the outside!!!

Halitosis screams at Boettcher to make a count and the ref quickly slides out of the ring as the former World Champion covers LT.











Bryan McVay: Lindsay Troy has been eliminated!!!

Joe Hoffman: Back to back eliminations for the Best Alliance……

Benny Newell: No fucking bueno!!!

Halitosis stands over a laid out Sektor as Troy is escorted out of the cell.

We get an overhead shot of the cell and rings as we see Halitosis and LT on the outside of Ring #1……

High Flyer resting in the far turnbuckle of Ring #1 as Farthington gathers himself on the outside…..

In between both rings we see the World Champion literally sitting in what appears to be purgatory as Dan Ryan and MJ Flair stare him down from inside Ring #2.

Slowly, Max backs off the apron and drops to the floor below and slowly walks towards Farthington and helps his fellow Champion to his feet.

Seeing the two Champions pair up we see High Flyer make his way towards Ring #2 to stand side by side with his surviving teammates.

The Champions now reach Sektor and Halitosis and all four men climb into Ring #1 and slowly make their way into the middle of the ring.

The crowd erupts as we see the two teams stare each other down.

Joe Hoffman: It is almost like a reset for the match now as the teams are in separate rings and are gathering themselves.

The three remaining Best Alliance members keep the nails between them and their remaining opponents…who are now huddling up in Ring #1. It is clear that the World Champion is calling the plays as when they break the huddle only Max Kael breaks rank and slides out of the ring behind his teammates.

Farthington, Sektor and Halitosis stay united and stay across from The Best Alliance as the cameras follow Kael has he makes his way to the freezer that High Flyer brought into the match.

Benny Newell: Oh shit….

Kael reaches into and begins throwing contents out into the ring behind is teammates:

  • Two more steel chairs
  • A Ring bell with small hammer included
  • A “Watch for Children” street sign
  • Two cookie trays
  • Five pairs of handcuffs
  • At least 10 feet of rope
  • And finally…a kitchen sink…..of course.

Smiling, Max slides back into the ring and grabs the ring bell and then falls into the line and allows a teammate to snag a weapon. A few moments later and each one has a weapon.

Kael with the ring bell…….Farthington with the street sign…..Halitosis and Sektor with steel chairs.

With a slight nod the four men start towards Ring #2 and The Best Alliance refuses to back down. As the eMpire team reaches the section between the two rings the Best Alliance members make their move.

They rush the four men and all three execute a perfect dive thru the middle ropes into the four men with Dan Ryan taking out both Halitosis and John Sektor.

By doing this the men kept the eMpire from using their weapons…..which now are scattered between the two rings.

High Flyer and Farthington pair off as they exchange blows that take them back into Ring #1.

Max Kael and MJ Flair are back into Ring #2 as Max has overpowered MJ.

Joe Hoffman: No matter what happens you have to give up to Flair who was the first to enter the match along with Scottywood….and still she fights.

Back in the middle of both rings Dan Ryan pulls Sektor up to his feet, turns and literally dragon suplexes the man on the apron of both rings which causes Sektor to roll helplessly to the floor.

Joe Hoffman: He broke Sektor’s neck…he broke his freakin neck.

Ryan jumps back to his feet and sees Halitosis going for the steel chair he dropped from the spear from Ryan.

As he picks it up and turns he swings wildly knowing someone was close…..but misses and the chair bounces off the top rope and right back into the former World Champions face.

With blood covering one eye still from the barbed wire forearm from LT earlier in the match and now this………its only a matter of moments before Dan Ryan kicks him in the gut and nails him with his high angle layout powerbomb.

Benny Newell: Humility Bomb!!!!

Ryan covers as High Flyer tosses Farthington over the top rope in Ring #1 to keep him from breaking up the pin…..

Boettcher counts….
















Bryan McVay: Halitosis has been eliminated!!!!


Dan Ryan raises his hands and points at High Flyer to signal that its all even now………

High Flyer motions for Ryan to follow him to the outside and both men climb out and see Farthington crawling towards Sektor who is literally lying halfway under the ring….unable to move.

Now it’s the Best Alliance doing the stalking as they turn the corner of Ring #1 and see Farthington still on his knees crawling. The ICON Champion turns towards his stalkers and begins to beg off as Ryan and High Flyer just smile at each other.

The walk towards Farthington and do not see the man running down the apron directly behind them…..having literally disappeared just a minute ago…..

Joe Hoffman: SPEAR!!!!

We see John Sektor diving off the apron and literally spear High Flyer from behind sending the ring vet down towards the arena floor where he is met with the waiting foot from the playing possum ICON Champion.

The momentum of his body moving forward followed by the kick to his head results in Jack Harmens body contorting in a way that makes the crowd gasp.

Joe Hoffman: We are seeing a replay now and we see that Sektor, who was halfway under the ring already from that dragon suplex, literally just crawled under the ring and reappeared BEHIND The Best Alliance to deliver that desperation spear!!

Ryan, shocked at just happened, is slapped across the face by Farthington who has jumped back to his feet and he follows that up with a wicked DDT to the floor below.

Farthington helps Sektor to his feet and the two men pick up the big man and execute a perfect double suplex into the steel mesh of the cage.

Benny Newell: NO BUENO!!!!!!!!!!!

Farthington then walks over and grabs the mangled chair that LT used to destroy Sektor earlier and with a smirk Farthington places it in front of Sektor on the floor and with a wry smile Sektor lifts up Dan Ryan and delivers his C-Sektion facebuster onto the chair and then rolls into his Sektor Stretch finisher.

Joe Hoffman: Will Dan Ryan tap???!!!!!

The big man refuses to tap however as he is completely out.

Frustrated, Sektor rolls the man over and covers as Farthington screams at Boettcher to make the count.









HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!




As Boettchers hand hits the floor for the third time the crowds attention is immediately turned towards the outside of Ring #2 where we see  MJ Flair has just dropped Max Kael down to the mat with her Morning Star Scorpion Death Drop…..onto the nails!!!!





Bryan McVay: Dan Ryan has been Eliminated!!!!!

The action cuts furiously to Ring #2 where Hortega has begun the count……





























































Joe Hoffman: Farthington with the desperation save as he literally just threw the ring bell from ring #1 to Ring #2 and he Flair right in the side causing her to double over in pain.

Max is lying prone on the nails as the crowd is going crazy with what they just saw.

Farthington motions to the Tampa crowd that he should be pitching for the Rays but as he is doing this we see High Flyer literally almost kick the head off Sektor who just pinned Dan Ryan.

Jack then follows up that first kick with another one….and then another one……and now its Sektor who is struggling to get his senses.

High Flyer picks up his barbed wire match from earlier and turns towards the ring to see Farthington motioning for him to stop……but its High Flyer who keeps Farthington at bay as he holds the barbed wire bat over the head of Sektor and slowly brings the man up to his feet…..holding the bat to his head as if it were a gun.

Farthington, frustrated, looks for another object to throw but there is nothing close enough for him to do anything.

He is forced to watch as Jack Harmen executes a perfect Russian leg sweep with the barbed wire bat across the neck of The Gold Standard.

Joe Hoffman: Sickening move….just sick.

High Flyer does not make a cover but instead jumps to his feet and looks up at Farthington…knowing the man was ready to strike.

He slowly walks up the ring steps and Farthington has no choice but to back off in fear of the barbed wire.

High Flyer enters Ring #1 slowly to face off with the ICON Champion……or so it appeared..

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!

Jack Harmen instead quickly takes two steps up and jumps off the top rope and executes a perfect frog splash on John Sektor, driving the barbed wire bat into the chest of The Gold Standard….ripping his chest wide open.

The force of the blow also cuts up the shoulder of High Flyer who struggles to get to his feet to see the damage……but as he does….


Farthington jumps off the apron and nails the man in the back of the head with the street sign and then executes a cross arm breaker on the just injured arm of High Flyer

Joe Hoffman: ARTICLE 50!!!!!!!!



Boettcher counts….






































































Bryan McVay: High Flyer has been Eliminated!!!!!!

Joe Hoffman: It is now the World Champion, ICON Champion and John Sektor versus MJ Flair who started the match first for the Best Alliance. How is she going to……….we got a cover…we got a cover!!!!

Back in Ring #2 Max Kael is back to his feet with a few nails sticking out of his back and arms as he goes for a desperation Gaslighter on MJ Flair but she ducks under the move and grabs Max by the hair, yanks back…and nails ANOTHER Morning Star onto the nails.

She is now covering as Hortega begins the count…..





The sound of his hand hitting the mat sees Farthington jump to his feet to see his eMpire teammate all the way across in the other ring about to be pinned







Farthing picks up the barbed wire bat and throws it into Ring #2 to break up the pin again…….and misses!!!!








Bryan McVay: Maximillian Kael has been eliminated!!!!



Farthington falls backwards up against the cell wall as he cannot believe he was so far away from Max to help the man.  Instead he looks down and drops to one knee to focus on Sektor…who is still not moving.

The door to the cell opens up and HOW medics rush into help the now former World Champion.

The crowd is silent as the medics put Max on a stretcher and on his side and begin wheeling him out of the cell. Farthington stops them when they near the door and he bends down to say something to Max who has nails sticking out from various parts of his back. It is truly a horrifying scene as Max is wheeled out.

Joe Hoffman: Two Morning Stars on the nails…..unbelievable.

Benny Newell: Long may he be maimed!!!

As the medics make their way out of the cell and to the medical facility under the Stadium the crowd begins to buzz wildly as suddenly we see a figure emerge from the third base dugout.

Benny Newell: YES!!!! YES!!!! YES!!!!

Joe Hoffman: What is he doing here?? Now???

The crowd stands as we see Lee Best walking towards the cell with a microphone in his hand.

Lee walks up to the edge of the cell and looks thru the mesh at the ICON Champion Cecilworth Farthington, a bloody and still unmoving John Sektor below him, and MJ Flair all the way across the way sitting down and leaning against the farthest bottom rope.

Lee Best: You see several hours ago my Son and I came to an agreement. One that would be the final act of us operating under a 50/50 partnership. We agreed that at this VERY MOMENT one of us would come out here and make an announcement and seeing as I am the GOD of this fucking place I pulled rank and wanted to be the one to make the announcement.

We see MJ Flair slowly getting to her feet in Ring #2 as Farthington continues his focus on the Salty GOD.

Lee Best: You see back in 2002 I had a very specific idea in mind for what I wanted High Octane Wrestling to be. Now 17 years later I am on the cusp of losing it but thankfully my Son is not a spiteful man and honors his Father. So with that said let me announce officially that the LSD Championship is back and it will be won in THIS FUCKING MATCH!!!!

The crowd erupts at the announcement.

Lee Best: That is right. The LSD Is something I hold very dear to my heart and I don’t give a fuck who will hold it here after this match just know that one of you three will be the new LSD Champion and will the holder of the Championship that has most history than most companies World Championship. You see Mr. Farthington….Championships mean something to me…..to HOW……for too long you and Max have been degrading this company and those championships…..well tonight Max learned his lesson and lost the World……will you learn yours??

With that Lee turns his back and begins walking towards the dugout once again but then stops halfway thru.

Lee Best: Oh ya….destroy that fucking cell. The LSD will not be won under a confined space. We did not have street fights in Paris, at the Alamo, to have the first LSD Champion of the Refueled Era be won inside the cell.

Suddenly there is a clanging and banging as the crew quickly rush into position…obviously knowing they would be doing this exact thing at some point. Within a few minutes the cell walls and ceiling are taken apart and the crew begin moving the pieces towards the outfield…away from the two rings.

Back in Ring #2 MJ is on her feet fully now and Farthington has slid into Ring #1 with Sektor still unmoving on the floor.

Lee Best: Good luck everyone. I cannot wait to see how will be holding MY BELT.

As Lee walks back into the darkness and under the stadium the nature of the match has completely changed.

Joe Hoffman: LSD, ICON and World Championships…….on the line…..three people left……..pinfall or submission only…..and now the whole stadium is in play!!!!

Benny Newell: What a generous and great gesture by the man that brought HOW into this world and should be the man that takes HOW out of this world……not Max….not Farthington….only Lee.

Joe Hoffman: It is hard to argue that and quite frankly even I think the men left in the match are confused.

Farthington turns around and looks at MJ Flair in the other ring. He then looks back at Sektor who is finally moving…..having rolled over on his side…….having trouble breathing from all the punishment inflicted from High Flyer.

Joe Hoffman: Sektor is in no state to continue…that is obvious. But what does Farthington do here? HE could ALLOW MJ to pin Sektor and go one on one for the World….or him and MJ could battle it out and see where the chips fall.

Benny Newell: There is no fucking way if I was Sektor that I would be lying there anymore. He knows that if he survives with Farthington that Mike will pick Farthington to be the World Champion. He HAS to get up…..he HAS to survive….and because of that MJ is going to win this fucking match because she doesn’t have to worry about the politics involving Mike. She can focus!!!

Farthington takes a final look at Sektor and decides to move forward and towards MJ Flair in the second ring. Sektor slowly begins to pull himself up with the help of the ring apron but falls back down just as Farthington makes it to the middle of the two rings.

MJ is tired of waiting and rushes towards CF as well and she nails Farthington with dropkick but it glances off his shoulder as she is unable to connect fully.

CF pulls her up by her hair and pulls her thru the ropes and back towards Ring #1 where he promptly dumps her on her head with a DDT.

He quickly covers…














Farthington pulls her back up to her feet again and delivers ANOTHER DDT and quickly covers.



















Farthington pounds the mat in frustration and looks out into the crowd as he pops up from his knees. He looks down at MJ and bends down to pick her up but she reaches up and rolls him up….
















































































Joe Hoffman: OH MY GOD WAS THAT CLOSE!!!!!

Farthington jumps to his feet and promptly kicks Flair right between the eyes knocking her back down to the mat.

Outside the ring we see Sektor slowly moving but this time he is not using the ring to prop himself up……nope …….he is crawling towards the wall that seperates the fans from the infield.

Farthington sees this and walks over to the nearest rope to Sektor and yells out to him…….





































































































Again Farthington pops up but this time he slides out of the ring and grabs the rope that has been lying on the ground since being tossed and then kicked out of the ring earlier in the match.

Farthington, a master of the seas and all things salty, quickly ties a noose with the rope, as he is great with knots…….and promptly places it around the neck and pulls it tight.

Joe Hoffman: Oh come on…..no way……come on!!!

Benny Newell: I wonder if this will make the next murder mystery show….

With the rope secured around the neck of Flair, Farthington grabs the woman under the arm and hip tosses her over the top rope while holding onto the end of the rope…..making sure her feet do not hit the floor…..literally hanging Flair.

Benny Newell: Someone stop this!!!! I was fucking KIDDING about the MURDER. YOU CANNOT WIN A MATCH BY  MURDERING SOMEONE!!!!

Joe cannot even look as we see Flair struggling to breathe.

Farthington closes his eyes and pulls with all his might and continues to pull as with each passing second more and more people look away…….suddenly the ropes tension gives way and Farthington falls backwards. He quickly jumps up to his knees and sees the rope hanging over the top rope of the ring.

He jumps up and slowly walks over to see what happened and that is when he sees it……the rope has been cut.

Joe Hoffman: LOOK OUT!!!!!

But there is no way Farthington could hear the yells from the announcers booth as the sound of metal hitting the back of his head is all he can hear as we see MJ Flair, noose still around her neck, swinging with all her might with a steel chair. The blow sends Farhtington towards the ropes and when he bounces off he is met with another blow from Flair. He staggers to the corner where she promptly charges at the ICON Champion with a growling yell and drives it into the gut of Farthington causing him to slump down into the corner. She then places the chair between the two bottom ropes and walks briskly to the nearby turnbuckle and scales to the top rope.

Joe Hoffman: What happened?? Someone tell me how she got loose??

MJ pauses at the top rope, looks down at the noose and rope hanging from her nick and in an ultimate I don’t give a fuck moment, she shrugs and dives towards Farthington and drives her feet thru the chair and into his face.

Benny Newell: Van fucking Terminator and we can use that term because he was on the HOR before!!!

MJ pops up to her feet, albeit slowly, and tosses the chair to the side.

She then grabs and pulls Farthington’s feet to get the man’s body flat so she can cover.

Boettcher makes the count as she does just that….





















































































Sektor tosses the steel chair as far as he can and it lands in the outfield on some of the cell pieces as he finishes just DESTROYING MJ with the chair.

Joe Hoffman: Where did he come from??? He was out of sight when he was climbing towards the seats??!!

The scoreboard comes to life and we see exactly what happened……..and in the middle of the ring Sektor confirms it all as we see him pull a box cutter knife from his brand new tights.

He looks up at the scoreboard as the replay shows Sektor crawling over and literally cutting MJ Flair free and then crawling under the ring….only to come back out from under the ring to destroy Flair with the chair.

Joe Hoffman: I don’t get it?? I don’t get the point of…….oh my god…..

Benny Newell: I FUCKING TOLD YOU!!!!!!!!!

Sektor, smiling and bleeding, pulls MJ and Farthington each by a leg and grunts as his shoulder and chest are in need of some serious medical attention. He shrugs that off however and drops to a knee between the two wrestlers and promptly places an arm of Farthington’s onto the chest of Flair and then the right arm of Flair on the chest of Farthington….he then tells Boettcher to count……..NOW.

Confused but being a HOW senior referee for over 15 years he knows what to do……he counts.





























































Bryan McVay: Farthington and MJ Flair have been eliminated…..THE WINNER OF THE MATCH AND NEEEEEEEWWWWWW WORLD CHAMPION……..JOHN SEKTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sektor falls to mat and the moment finally overcomes him…..the plan worked……..and he is your new High Octane Champion.

Joe Hoffman: Unbelievable Benny……Sektor did just what you suggested he SHOULD do……he took the whole match into his own hands and made sure he was the only survivor…….

Suddenly the crew springs back into action and we see them bringing the pieces of the cell back towards the ring as it is now time to crown the new champion and the new majority owner.  As this is happening we hear Lee Best’s music come on and he makes his way out holding two bags.

Lee Best: Cut the fucking music…cut the fucking music. Before my Son gets out here and begins the party let me do my final act.

Lee drops one bag to the ground and stops the HOW medical teams next to him as they each have MJ Flair and Farthington on a stretcher.

Lee Best: Your NEW LSD Champion….and the person I am MOST proud of…….MJ FUCKING FLAIR!!!!!!

Lee pus the LSD Championship on her chest as the medical team whisks her away.

Lee doesnt even take the ICON Championship out of the bag and instead just tosses the bag on the head of Farthington.

Lee Best: Get that fucker out of here…..your ICON Champion……Cecilworth Farthington….the man that doesnt give two fucks about the company is your reigning ICON Champion…yay.

Lee watches as the crew reassembles, albeit loosely, the cell back around the rings.

Lee Best: Dont be nervous Sektor…nothing going to happen here. I had that fucking cell took apart because I expected you guys to fight tooth and nail throughout the stadium…..its like you all ran out of gas or something. Made me look stupid for taking the fucking thing down……now I gotta have my crew put it back up hastily and all because I promised my Son a no bullshit party inside the ring full of beautiful renders of him all over the interwebs with his winnning team…..so enjoy it man. I am done. You guys wanted to kill the company…..go ahead. Thats what Mike, Max and Farthington been yelling about for months…….you CHOSE that team and now you can be part of them ruining the history of HOW. Good job man…..and congrats.

With that Lee drops the mic and walks towards the third base dugout. He stops at the top step and and pauses…..looks back at the ring….and then disappears into the tunnel under the stadium and into darkness.

In the ring the new World champion is still on his knees, face down against the shiny plate of the HOW World title. Sektor briefly lifts his head up, tears being held back in his glassy eyes as he looks around at the crowd who are mostly cheering for him.

Joe Hoffman: I don’t think Sektor heard a word of Lee’s speech. He’s overcome with emotion right now.

Sektor’s face falls back against the title, completely burned out from the match and overwhelmed by the moment.

Benny Newel: His tears won’t be the saltiest tonight…that much I can guarantee.

“Gasoline” by I Drive, the theme of War Games begins to play, as the new majority shareholder, Michael Lee Best begins to make his way down to the ring, looking at Sektor through the cell, which is barely hanging together by single screws and offering him a heart-felt applause. He’s dressed to the nines in a sharp suit and looking more than pleased with himself.

Joe Hoffman: Here he comes. The man whom has just earned that important 1% share of the company which now means he has the majority hold over the business dealings of HOW moving forward.

Benny Newell: He must love Sektor right now. For the first time in his life..

Mike literally squeezes through a gap in two sides of the cell as the construction crew try to put it back together. He climbs into the ring and approaches the kneeling, Gold Standard, patting him on his saturated back. The Gold Standard looks up from the title, dazed and then smiling with relief as he sees Mike smiling down at him. Mike points to Sektor and can be seen saying..

Mike Best: Well done brother..you deserve this..

Mike then hoists the new champions arm into the air from his kneeling position…causing a thunderous roar from the crowd in a moment to crown the new champion of High Octane Wrestling. Mike allows Sektor some time to let this moment run, before finally offering both hands to help the deflated champion to his feet.

Joe Hoffman: What a moment. What A moment..from enemies to friends..to enemies..to, well who knows what they are now. But these two men have rivalled and drove each other throughout the better parts of both of their careers. They’ve had epic matches. They were inducted into the Hall of Fame together. And now..as Mike crowns Sektor the new HOW World champion, Sektor crowns Mike the new majority share holder of HOW. Unbelievable.

Benny Newell: Insert drunken Benny ramblings..I’m spent.

Sektor’s knees are like jelly as Mike gingerly lets go of him, hoping he wont fall. The walls of the cell now seem back together as Mike checks on Sektor. The two lock eyes and both smile at each other. Mike holds his arms wide as if to say, ‘ bring it in brother.’ Sektor let’s out a big sigh and smiles, stepping forward for the long, overdue, embrace of two of HOW’s greatest rivals.

Joe Hoffman: It’s not very often one of our shows ends on such a heart-warming moment…but..


The crowd gasp!

Joe Hoffman: NO….

Sektor had just kicked Mike square in the balls, with such force that the shot could be heard around the entire field. Mike’s eyes bulge as he falls to his knees, almost in slow motion as he keeps eye contact with Sektor, who’s teeth are tightly clenched together. He then taps his right temple..

Sektor: I don’t forget..

Joe Hoffman: Wait who’s this now?

Unbeknown to Sektor, four men have entered the cell and have positioned themselves on each edge of the ring, the crowd are now at fever pitch as several of the faces are familiar but surprises to them. Sektor looks around each side of the ring, eyes wide as he locks on to each face.


He turns to the right.



Again to the right.


And finally..



The four men look at each other and nods before climbing the ring. Mike on his knees, Sektor completely surrounded. He looks at each men as they slowly enclose the space.

He then smirks, picks up the title and lazily saunters back to the corner, looking at the men and making a gesture with his hands.

Joe Hoffman: WHAT?

With that, all four men start laying in the boot on Michael best, stomping on him viciously from all angles as the new champion watches from the corner, title slung over his shoulder with cold glint in his eyes.

Joe Hoffman: OH MY GOD…is this the return of GROUND ZERO?

That question lingers but as we fade to black an already made image confirms it all as we go off the air after a truly historic War Games